Sacred Marriage happens to be one of the titles of a book by Gary Thomas. For those who do not know who Gary Thomas is, he is a bestselling author and international speaker whose ministry focuses on bringing people closer to Christ and closer to one another. In this book, Sacred Marriage, the general idea is to get closer to your spouse by becoming more like Christ.
I have to admit that I would not have read something like this on my own. I am not a huge fan of self-help or non-fiction in general. Yes, this coming from someone who is working on her first non-fiction piece, lol. It’s not like I don’t get much out of them or don’t like them, it’s just that I’d rather be reading a fictional piece that transports me to someone else’s world.
Anyway, back to why I said all of that. Though I wouldn’t have chosen to read something like this on my own, I did end up reading it because of a men’s group my husband is a part of. One of the homework assignments was for him to read Sacred Marriage, as well as for me, too. Then a little while ago we had a meeting where all of us, husbands and wives, discussed it.
The first thing I want to say is that I am glad I actually read this book. It was enjoyable, and I feel like it made some very valuable points. I’d like to share them with you here:
- Marriage was designed to make us holy more than to make us happy. This isn’t to say God doesn’t want us to be happy or that the two can’t coexist, it’s just that the ultimate purpose is not for us to be infatuated, comfortable, and in a perfect place. Its purpose is to make us holier, like God.
- The romantic rollercoaster of courtship ALWAYS evens out to the terrain of a Midwest interstate. Basically, the highs you experience when dating eventually even out to flat prairie lands after being married for a length of time. Yes, some choose to then leave their spouse because they think the love is gone, but truth is, they’ll end up back at the flat lands with the next person as well.
- If you want to be more like Christ, there is no better way to do so than by getting married because marriage calls us to live selfless lives.
- Our spouses cannot be God so do not seek fulfillment from them. We should seek true fulfillment from God alone. So many of us look to our spouse to make us happy when really only God can do so.
- Will we view marriage as self-centered or God-centered? In other words, will we ask what we get out of it? Or will we ask how can it glorify God?
- Love must be learned over and over. Hate needs no instruction.
- To better understand your spouse, you must truly respect them. And when you fully respect them, you can ultimately love them.
- A good marriage is not one you find, but one in which you work for.
- We can’t control our spouse, but we can control ourselves.
- It’s not about what we get out of marriage, but about who we become.
As you can see, some very, very good points. I would highly recommend this book to anyone that is married, and even for those who are engaged so they know what they should be looking for when marriage comes.
I loved discussing these things and more at my husband’s men’s group the other day. This subject is ultra important, and I think Gary Thomas hit the nail on the head when it comes to the sole purpose of a marriage. If more couples would look at it in this light, divorce rates wouldn’t be through the roof.
If you are interested in reading Gary Thomas’ book, Sacred Marriage, it is available in paperback and on the Kindle. You can find it here: